SILENCE
by Raphangela
Summary: Just one minute of silence is all that one could ask for...but this is too far. Raph's had enough of Mikey's joking around and childish antics and he's even sick of his carefree spirit, but he goes too far when telling this... A Mikey and Raph centric fic
1. Things that should've never been said

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. Oh, and please read and review. I'd appreciate it if you do.

**_SILENCE _****__**

By Raphangela

"Cowabunga!!" is the word that echoes throughout the sewers and even out past the drains and manholes. "Whoooooooohoooooooooo!!" Mikey shouts out as he glides through the turtles' lair on his jet powered skateboard that Donatello made for him. The others sigh to themselves as they watch and listen to their baby brother reek havoc everywhere, even around a concentrating Master Splinter and "where fools dare to tread", Raphael.

"Why in the hell did Don make that thing!?" Raph growls as he trains with his dumbbells like he does every morning and at night. Right now, it is night time and not much has been going on since the defeat of the Shredder. To be honest, it is quite boring and Raph is starting to miss all the fighting they use to do, but they were all glad to know that he is now gone and finished for good. 'Now, if only we could get rid of Mikey.' Raphael thought with a chuckle that then turns into a growl. 'At times I wished he wasn't even born. He's so annoying and gets on my nerves! All he ever does is play and get into trouble! Oh, how I wish I could hurt him!'

"Hey, Raph!" Mikey laughs as he circles around his older brother. "Check this out!" He then swirls around and around and did loops and leaps in the air. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Raphael growls as lifts up his dumbbells again. "I've seen it ALREADY!" He snarls at him.

Mikey frowns at his brother's attitude and says; "Jeeze! You don't have to be such a grouch!" At this, Raphael glares at him and growls again.

"Michelangelo!" Master Splinter calls out to him. He still sits in his meditative spot as he looks over at the young turtle with one eye open. "Leave Raphael alone! And quit flying around on that thing. You've rode it enough that it's getting on my nerves, let alone your bothers'."

Michelangelo pouts as he turns off his power board. He looks around and saw that all of his brothers are looking right at him with glares plastered onto their faces. "Okay." He says in a whiney tone.

The others sigh with relief and continue with what they were doing. Donatello continues with one of his many projects, a new invention that might help them incase the time comes when they might have to go into battle. Leo seems to forever watch the news, seeing if there was anything going on topside. He is still worried about after defeating the Shredder, thinking he might still be alive out there. Hey, he always seems to make a comeback somehow, one way or another. So, you can't blame the guy for being concerned about it. Splinter went back to meditating and to ease his mind of the thoughts that seemed to plague him. Splinter's eyes have dark circles underneath them because of the sleepless nights he has. His nights are plagued with nightmares and he is still edgy about it all. He can't help but feel that something bad is bound to happen. The only questions were "What", "When", and "How". 

Raphael continues his weightlifting for a few more minutes before he goes to refresh himself with a glass of cool water in the kitchen. After he does, he looks over to his little brother, who seems to be miserable. Michelangelo is sitting Indian-style on the floor and watches the news and is completely bored of it. Mikey knew he couldn't change the channel, not with Leo around and acting like this. Mikey sighs to himself and this makes Raphael smiled at it. 'Finally, he shuts up. Look at him, all miserable. That's what he gets for making me miserable and being such a damn pest!' He put his glass of water down someplace near him as he went back to training, this time he began working with his sais and fighting moves. 'No, really… He's such a damn pest. I don't know how many times I-'

"Hey, Raph!" Leonardo interrupts Raph's train of thought. "Lets get going. There's been another gang violence going on and I don't want to just sit around here and I doubt you would want to, either."

Raphael smiles and put his weapons back into his belt. "Finally! Some action goin' on! This place is gettin' to be boring as hell!" He looks and sees that his brothers are ready, too. He goes up to them and stands beside them as Leo explains to Splinter where they are going.

"Alright then," Splinter says to them. "Be careful my sons and remember what I taught you all. I know I keep on telling you all this, but you must know that I will not always be here for you, that I will be gone one day. However, I will be with you in spirit. Use my teachings well, my sons, for it will come at good hands when it is needed. Remember the ancient arts of ninjitsu and that the ninja hides in the shadows. Now, be gone and be careful." 

"Yes, Sensei." Leo says respectfully as they all bow their heads and then Leo leads them all out in this order- First it is Leonardo, then Donatello, then Raphael, and then Michelangelo.

Michelangelo plays with his nunchucks as he goes and accidentally hits his head with one of them. "OWW!" He cries out, which made his brothers sigh.

Splinter chuckles to himself and then smiles. He is glad that one of his sons has such a free spirit. A free spirit is a very good thing, because it never seems to let anything weigh them down. Michelangelo has such a spirit, a spirit that never seems to be afraid or ashamed to let anyone know how one feels deep within. Even though Michelangelo seems to be a pest to his brothers, he always seems to show his caring side and his goodness shows. He is never afraid to express his ideas and dreams, even ones that seem to be ridiculous to everyone else's eyes. Such goodness and carefree spirit always seems to bring out the best or the emotions of everyone else. It also brought out goodness and always seems to light up every mood that would come. His jokes and actions either pleased or aggravated someone. 'Not many appreciate Michelangelo for who he is,' Splinter noted, 'especially his brothers.' If only they could see that it isn't good to burden with such bad things, like emotions and thoughts, that it is bad on a person's health. Stress can kill just like a murderer can. One must learn to be relaxed and have one's mind clear. He can clearly see that Michelangelo is pretty much like that and really didn't seem to need the meditation. He only wanted Mikey to do it because of the others. He also knew Mikey never liked sitting still, so it also does some good there. He hopes it will teach him to be more patient and to know how to sit still, especially when it comes to battle and being around his brothers.

He has to admit, though, he is more concerned about the youngest of the brothers. Mainly because of his ways and how his brothers are towards him. He also noted that many villains also hated him for it. He knew that many people, even good people, hate to see someone like that of the one who wears orange. He knew that many people are jealous of such a carefree spirit and many want to snuff it out like flame that burns in the darkness. Many rather hide than to show who they are, and for this seeing Mikey makes them jealous. Splinter sighed to himself. He knew that his son will go through very much pain because of this. This world is cruel and harsh and always wants to destroy something good… And Mikey is that good.

"Be careful, my son."

**----**

Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo walk through the sewers and that seem to almost be completely dark if it weren't for the moonlight that shines through the drainage vents.

"So, where are we headin'?" Raphael asks with very much anticipation on going to the topside. "I can't wait to kick some shell!"

"Calm down, Raph." Leo calmly says to his brother. "We're just about there," He then points at a nearby manhole above them. "Through that manhole right there." 

He climbs the ladder and the others follow him closely. He opens the manhole cover and carefully looks out without making a sound. He looks and sees that it is a dark, quiet alley and there were no signs of anyone around.

"Okay," He says. "The close is clear." He then lifts the manhole cover and carefully slid it off onto the pavement, trying to not make a sound. He gets out and stands and his brothers do the same.

"AHHH!!" Mikey says as he breathes in. "Good ol' car polluted air! Oh, how I've missed you!" He jokes with a smile.

Donny smiles and says, "Yeah, good ol' New Yorker air! Be careful not to breathe in too much, Mikey, it might kill ya."

Michelangelo laughs with him at that comment. "Yeah, I know. The air here sucks! I don't know which place is worse…the sewer or out here?"

"Well, be glad you don't live in Los Angeles, Mikey. I heard it's a lot worse." Don replies.

"Heck, I ain't going there then!" Mikey laughes. "Count me out!"

Donny smiles and shakes his head. "Whatever."

 "Wha-? I'm serious!" Mikey continues. "What? You'd think I'd like to suffocate?"

"One can only wish." Raphael interjects with a scowl.

"Hey!" Mikey cries out.

"Enough!" Leo interrupts. "Come on…Let's get a move on, shall we?" Donny nods in agreement, Mikey shrugs, and Raph continues to scowl at his younger brother. "Lets go." Leo says and climbs up the ladder of a stairway on the side an apartment building and like wise the others follow.

They jump on to the top of the roof and continue to scout the area by roof hopping. They went together until Leo comes to a halt once he reaches a business building. The look around them and notice that the sky is now getting cloudy. Soon, the moon was covered by a huge blanket shaped cloud. Thunder is heard coming from the cloud and they knew that it meant it is about to rain soon.

 "We better do this quick… I think it's best if we separate into groups," Leo says to them and the others nod, in agreement or not. "Because this isn't working. We need to cover more ground… Lets split off into groups of two. Don you come with me. Michelangelo, you go with Raphael."

Raphael groans to himself at this. 'Oh, great.' He thought. 'I get the oddball.'

"Now that that is said, everybody knows what to do then. Good luck!" Leo says and took Donatello with him in one direction. Raphael and Michelangelo watch them until they disappear from sight.

Raphael sighs out loud. "Come on, oddball. You heard him!" He leaps to the next building top with Mikey following not too far behind.

"Raph! Wait up for me, bro!" Mikey calls out cheerfully like he always does. Raphael despises it.

Raphael growls, "Why me?" He asks out loud and then stops on a rooftop and waits for Michelangelo to catch up.

"What do you mean, bro?" Mikey asks out of curiosity once he lands to where his brother is. "Why are you so grouchy tonight, anyways?"

"You!" Raphael growls.

"Wha-? Me?" Mikey looks at him, not expecting Raph to make such a hard, vicious tone of voice at him.

"Yes, you!" Raphael states harshly at his younger brother. "It's always you!"

"What do you mean, bro?" Mikey asks with a wavering smile. "You're mad a lot at Leo, too! How can it always be me? And why are you mad at me for?"

Raphael glares at him maliciously, "Because you are so annoying, Mikey! You're worse than that brownnoser of a brother of mine! All you ever do is play and play around some more! Your stupid smile and carefree ways don't work for everyone, Mikey! Quit this senseless shit and grow the fuck up!"

Mikey's jaw drops and he tries not to look hurt. "What? Are you saying that you are mad at me because of the way I am? Huh, Raph? Why?"

"You never act seriously when it comes to any situation, dumbass!" Raphael yells. "Every time a fight comes around the corner, we always seem to be the ones saving your fucking ass! You never do anything right around here and you complain about stupid penny antic things that really don't make sense at all! You're always scared of things like the coward you are! You think life is all just some big playground and the sun is always shining when it's not! Act serious for once in your life!"

"But…but Raph." Mikey responds, upset at how his brother could talk to him like this. "Why? Why are you saying this? I thought we were supposed to be the best of friends. Best buddies."

Raphael then got up into his brother's face and says darkly, "You are not my best friend. All you are now to me is a pest in my life…a liability. You make me sick with your carefree spirit. Not everyone is like you, especially me. Not everybody accepts your ways, especially us. You are an annoyance that never seems to go away! I'm beyond tired of you! To tell you the truth, I wish I never knew you. I wish I never heard your voice. I wish I didn't have to put up with you. I wish I wasn't your brother. I wish I could get rid of you, you thorn in my side. And I wish you never even existed. To me, the world would be a better place." Lightening strikes in the distance and the thunder roars viciously.

Michelangelo is horrified by his brother's words and is deeply wounded by them. He smiles sadly at his brother; he could hardly come up with anything to say. "Yeah…sure." He peeps softly; his voice seems to have disappeared without a trace.

"Don't even talk to me or at all throughout and after this." Raphael commands and turns away from him. "In fact, don't even talk at all." 

Mikey smiles sadly as he watches his brother continues on with the search for any crime of any sort. Michelangelo tries to hold back the tears and pain he feels deep within himself. His brother's words hurt worst than that of a sword piercing through a heart. He felt that his heart had shattered into millions of tiny pieces and did not know if he should follow his brother or not.

"C'mon!!" His brother yells and looks back at him in aggravation.

Mikey nods at his brother and goes to catch up, or though it seems like that. He decides to travel at some distance behind his brother. He does not want his brother to see his face or he'd be angry at Mikey even more for 'being a crybaby'.

'So, I guess I deserve this, then.' Mikey sadly thought to himself, he tries hard not to pity himself. 'Raph does have a point, though. I mean, I am in the way… Do the others' feel the same?' He tries to fight the terrible pain and agony within himself. 'Could they?' This thought seemes to echo through his mind. He no longer felt just pain and sorrow, but also another emotion building. He remembers their times together. He remembers the good at first and he tried to keep them, but they were quickly replaced with bad things. Things his brothers did or say to him, even Master Splinter seems to be one of them. As much as he tries to fight it, all he can remember now was all the crises, the pain, the sorrow, the agony of what he went through with his brothers. And then all at once, he kept hearing his brother's hateful words that were shot right at him in his face. His brother's words had cut through him like a knife.

**_You are not my best friend_**

'No, stop!' Michelangelo tried to fight it in his head.

**_ You make me sick with your carefree spirit_**

'Please! Stop!'

**_I wish I never knew you_**

'No more! I beg of you!'

**_I wish I never heard your voice _**

'WHY!?!'

**_I wish I didn't have to put up with you. I wish I wasn't your brother_**

"WHY MUST YOU DO THIS!?'

**_I wish I could get rid of you, you thorn in my side_**

'WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS!?'

**_And I wish you never even existed_**

'WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME LIKE THIS!?!'

**_To me, the world would be a better place_**

Michelangelo notices that he has fallen far behind and doesn't want to catch up anymore. "No." He cries to himself as he decides to finally stop. "I can't do this anymore. I don't want follow you anymore…my brother. I don't want to… No." With that, he jumps down from the roof of the building and climbs down the railing as fast as he can. He wants to run away. He wants to flee away from this place. He wants to scream. He wants to go somewhere and hide. He wants to cry to himself all alone. And he does not want to go back to the layer. No, he doesn't want to see their faces anymore, especially Raphael's. He is too hurt and ashamed to go back. He does not want to go back and cry to Splinter about what happened. His brother would hate him even more.

Michelangelo cries as he ran through the streets and not much caring if he were to get hit or not, which he did, but he instantly got up and ran. He runs as far as he can and exhaustedly comes to a halt in a dark, lonesome alley. He slumps down all the way in the back. He begins to cry hardly to himself. Why did his brother have to be so cruel to him most of the time? He brings his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them. He then lays his head down on them and sobs all alone to himself, not caring much if anyone hears him and nor the fact that it began to pour rain. His brother's words keep on repeating through his mind for him to even care is someone did.

**_All you are now to me is a pest in my life…a liability_**

"Why, Raphael!?" Mikey cries out through his sobs, but the thunder seems to dull them out. "Why did you hurt me like this!?"

**To Be Continued**

Well, that's the first chapter. sniff Please tell me what you guys think. Should I continue?


	2. The voice in my head

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. I'm an angsty kinda writer and I love my Mikey and Raphael. Oh, and please read and review. I'd appreciate it if you do. And I would like to thank those who have reviewed. I'm glad to see that a lot of you like it! AAAAAAAAH!! Don't hate me for this fic, please! I'm really writing it because I want to do something different. Yes, I know Raph would never really want to hurt his brother, which you'll see that later. Oh, and btw, don't hate me for what I am about to do!! -Runs away-

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 2_**

By Raphangela

_-Splinter… Splinter… Splinter…-_

A soft voice whispers throughout Splinters mind. It seems to echo, but it is clearly repeating itself over and over again. Splinter concentrates on the voice, either finding a way to purge it or to find who its owner is. The voice sounds so familiar, but the martial arts teacher can't put his finger on it. 'Every time I think I figured out who it belongs to,' Splinter thought 'It either goes away instantly or fades.' Splinter sighs to himself for it seems to be torture for him to comprehend who the voice is. But whoever it belongs to it makes his heart ache with hurt with the way the voice sounds to be so heartbreaking. Sometimes the voice would sound sad at first, but it would then turn vile and unbearable for one to hear. The voice keeps on changing between the two and it also haunts his nightmares. At times, Splinter would find himself not being able to take it. It sounds as if it is one of his sons, his students, but he still can't seem to figure out whom.

_-Splinter… Splinter… Splinter…-_

'What do you want?'

****

_-Splinter… Splinter… Splinter…-_

'Who are you?' He says to it in his mind. He then feels a chill go sharply down his spine. 'No.'

_-Splinter…….. Splinter………….. Splinter……………….Splinter…-_

**-----******

"Do you think it was a good idea to leave Mikey with Raph, Leo?"

"Good question, Don." Leo answers an equally worrying Donatello. "I really don't know… But I'm sure if there is something going on between them, I'm sure they'll work it out."

"I don't know, Leo." Donny sighs, still not feeling alright about it. "Maybe I should've gone with Mikey instead. For some reason, I don't trust Raph with him right now. I keep on feeling as if something's bad about to happen or it already did."

"Don't worry, Don. I'm sure they'll be fine." Leo covers up how he really feels and tries to sound optimistic. "Don't worry about it."

"Quit hiding it, Leo." Don informs to his brother, not being tricked once by his brother's words. He sees that Leo's body is shaking and looks like it usually does when about to face a great enemy, his breathing sounds irregular. "I might not be Mikey and even though it's raining, I can clearly see that you're feeling the same. I mean, your body language is speaking for you. You're worried as much as I am."

Leo lowers his head in shame of hiding the truth from his brother. He then looks up at his brother who is waiting for him to reply. "Yeah…well…I can explain that…." He sighs as he looks at the unconvincing looks his brother is giving him. "Okay…you're right, Don. Maybe you should've gone with Mikey and I with Raph. I'm feeling the same exact thing. I'm starting to really have an increase of doubt within me…" He shakes his head. "But this is Mikey and Raph we're talking about. I seriously doubt that they would do something very harmful to each other, especially Raph. You know how much Raph cares about Mikey. He wouldn't let anything in the world happen to him. He's protective over our brother."

"Yes," Donatello agrees. "But…"

"But what?" Leo asks, not liking the doubtful tone of his brother's voice.

"Raph has hurt Mikey before," Don answers effortlessly "Both physically and emotionally. So, why wouldn't he ever do it again?"

Leo tries to search for the answers, but can't find them within himself. He remains quiet for awhile as the lightening cuts through the sky and the thunder roars. "I don't know." He answers.

Donatello frowns and heaves a sigh, still is worrying about his younger. It then begins to pour harder as the lightning slashes more violently through the sky and seems to be tearing it. "Why did it have to rain tonight?" He says a statement more than a question.

"We better head back." Leo suggests as the weather starts to get worse. "It's starting to pour like cats and dogs out here! And besides, we haven't found anything, except a few punk kids dealing into mischief."

"Yeah," Donatello says as he shakes from the cold rain. "Let's go back. Hopefully the others do, too."

"I hope so." Leo says and nods, they both still feel worrisome and this storm doesn't make it any better.

They run from deep within the alley they are in and into the front where a manhole is. Leo quickly lifts it up to one side and lets Don in and then goes in himself and shuts it.

**-----******

Raphael jumps from building to building, in hopes of finding at least some worthless chump to beat up. Raphael sighs and is becoming really provoked by it. "Great. Just great! It's pouring like hell out here and there's no one to lay a hand on! What? Are criminals afraid of getting wet or somethin'? Sheesh!" He stops and looks up at the sky and then growls. "Oh, how I hate the rain. Always ruinin' everything, especially my play time."

He sighs miserably and then says, "C'mon, Mikey. Let's go back to the laya'! There ain't nothin' here, there's nothin' there, and there ain't a thing anywhere else!" He sighs when he doesn't hear his brother's reply. He rolls his eyes and then turns around, "C'mon, Mikey, lets-" Michelangelo is nowhere to be seen. "Mikey?" He gasps and then growls. "C'mon, you knuckle-head, quit playin' around! Where are you?" He doesn't get a reply. "MIKEY!? C'mon, this isn't funny! Don't play around like this!!" He looks all around him, but still doesn't see hide or hair of him. "DAMMIT, MIKE! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS SHIT!" He looks over the edges of the building. "TELL ME NOW WHERE THE HELL IS YOU!!" He commands.

He then jumps off from the top of the three-story building and lands in an alley beside it and grunts when his feet hit the cement. He starts to run through it at top speed and into another alley. He looks down it and then another, and then some more. He still can't find his younger brother.

"WHERE ARE YA, MIKE!?" He calls out. "WHERE ARE YA!?"

He runs more and more, from block to block, to shadow to shadow. He still can not find his little brother and it's making his heart pound furiously in his chest. 'Mikey, please, where you are! I need you to tell me where you went off to, buddy.' Then all of a sudden, realization dawned on him. His words he said earlier to his brother and even the scene came back into his mind.

**-Flash back-**

_Raphael glared at Mikey maliciously, "Because you are so annoying, Mikey! You're worse than that brownnoser of a brother of mine! All you ever do is play and play around some more! Your stupid smile and carefree ways don't work for everyone, Mikey! Quit this senseless shit and grow the fuck up!" _

_Mikey's jaw dropped and he tried not to look hurt. "What? Are you saying that you are mad at me because of the way I am? Huh, Raph? Why?"_

_"You never act seriously when it comes to any situation, dumbass!" Raphael yelled. "Every time a fight comes around the corner, we always seem to be the ones saving your fucking ass! You never do anything right around here and you complain about stupid penny antic things that really don't make sense at all! You're always scared of things like the coward you are! You think life is all just some big playground and the sun is always shining when it's not! Act serious for once in your life!"_

_"But…but Raph." Mikey responded, upset at how his brother could talk to him like this. "Why? Why are you saying this? I thought we were supposed to be the best of friends. Best buddies."_

_Raphael then had gotten up into his brother's face and said darkly, "You are not my best friend. All you are now to me is a pest in my life…a liability. You make me sick with your carefree spirit. Not everyone is like you, especially me. Not everybody accepts your ways, especially us. You are an annoyance that never seems to go away! I'm beyond tired of you! To tell you the truth, I wish I never knew you. I wish I never heard your voice. I wish I didn't have to put up with you. I wish I wasn't your brother. I wish I could get rid of you, you thorn in my side. And I wish you never even existed. To me, the world would be a better place." Lightening stroke in the distance and the thunder roared viciously. _

_Michelangelo is horrified by his brother's words and is deeply wounded by them. He smiled sadly at his brother; he could hardly come up with anything to say. "Yeah…sure." He peeps softly; his voice seems to have disappeared without a trace._

_"Don't even talk to me or at all throughout and after this." Raphael commanded and turned away from him. "In fact, don't even talk at all."  _

**-End of flash back-**

Raphael's angry mood sinks into a deep depression and regret; he is also flabbergasted by the way he had treated his brother. He takes in a deep breath and exhales exaggeratedly. "DAMMIT!!" He yells as he kicks a nearby trashcan so hard it flies into the air and lands almost ten yards away, making a couple of rats scurry for their lives in fear. Raph sighs and leans against a brick wall of one of the many alleys he had checked.

**_All you are now to me is a pest in my life…a liability_**

 "Mikey…"

**_You are not my best friend_**

"Oh, no…"

**_And I wish you never even existed. To me, the world would be a better place_**

"Mikey… I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry. Please forgive me."

Raphael felt like crying at that very moment. He had hurt his little brother, his best friend in the whole world. He hurt Mikey. And by the way things have turned out; he sees that he had hurt him very badly. He doesn't know what to do about it, either, but something within him tells him to keep on searching. 'Mikey has to be around here somewheres.' He thought as the rain pours harder and it seems to feel even colder than before. 'But where, though? I better find him fast or we'll both be sick from this rain.' He groans. 'Why does it have to rain for? I can't stand getting wet! I'll never understand why Leo even likes it, let alone enjoys it.' Just thinking about Leo makes him growl angrily. 'Why the hell did Leo pair us up today for? That damn teacher's pet should know when I'm not in the mood for somethin' or not!' He then turns his thoughts back on Mike.

He shakes his head and sighs to himself. "Oh, Mikey… I'm SO sorry. I'm coming, buddy. Please forgive me." He says as he then continues his search for his runaway brother. "Please be alright. I'll NEVER forgive myself if you're not." 

**-----******

Mikey still sits by himself in the same alley, he never even moved an inch from the spot. He is too depressed to move or to even care if someone would find him there and keeps crying to himself miserably about what happened. Usually words would ever get to him, maybe they did, but he usually got rid of them out of his head quickly enough to where it wouldn't bother him. However, for some reason, these words won't go away and they also are also very painfully strong. Maybe he is hurting deep within from the very beginning? He remembers when he was a child he would a lot of times would go hide somewhere to cry alone, because he was afraid of being made fun of. His brothers always seemed to have made fun of him then and when until today. Sure, he loves to make them laugh, but they always made him to be the butt end of a joke. Their terrible laughs and ugly words feel his mind, making him not paying any attention at all to his surroundings. He tries to make them all go away, but they keep on getting stronger by the moment as past memories he never even thought of before came into his mind. In his mind his thoughts of his brothers laughing, scolding, hurting, yelling, and telling him to shut up never seems to end, even his Sensei's word's plagues him.

**_Mikey, Shut up_**

'Leo…'

**_Shut up, Mikey_**

'Don…'

**_Michelangelo, be quiet!_**

'Sensei…'

**_Shut the hell up, Mike!_**

'Raph!'

**_SHUT UP!!!_**

"Guys!" Mikey cries as he clutches his head in agony, they all seem to be screaming at him at the same time.

**_SHUT UP!!!_**

"Please stop! Go away! Please! Just stop!"

**_SHUT UP!!!_**

"No more! Please, I beg of you!"

**_SHUT UP!!!_**

"NOOOOO!!! SHUTTUP! SHUTTUP!! SHUTTUP!!! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!" He screams as he cries harder. He clenches his teeth tightly, but then hears a voice whisper to him. 

_-You don't have to.-_

'Have to what?'

_-You don't have to take it anymore.-_

'Take what?'

_-Take 'them'.-_

'Take who?'

_-Your so called family.-_

'What?'

_-You don't have to take them anymore.-_

'I don't?'

_-No. No one really haves to. So, you don't either.-_

'But…but…they are my family.'

_-Them? You've got to be kiddin' me. They aren't you're family more than the Shredder being your best friend.-_

'But…still… I could never…'

_-You should. They'd do it to you. In fact, they've already done so millions of times. So why not you?-_

'Cause…they are my…'

_-Family? Brothers? Loved ones? Trust me when I say that they no longer love you as much as you think they do. -_

'What?'

_-In fact, they never did.-_

'That's not true! They do love me! They…do…'

_-Oh, really? If so, why does your heart tell you other wise? Why do you feel so much doubt about your words?-_

'I guess you could be right…but they are my family. They've even risked their lives for me. Why wouldn't they care? I'm their brother.'

_-Tsk. Tsk. Tisk.__ You keep on forgetting the reality of it all. They save you because they know they have to. They act as if they care because they know they must. If you were anymore different, they'd forget all about you. They save because they are taught to do so…and to them, you're just another troublesome fool always waiting to be saved.-_

Mikey sucks it all in, all of the words, thoughts, emotions begin to mix within himself.

_-They don't care about you. To them you are nothing but a burden........ A 'liability'.-_

_That word strikes him through the heart instantly. His brother, Raphael's words seem to repeat through his mind. _

**_All you are now to me is a pest in my life…a liability_**

'No…'

_-Yes, now you see.-_

'Yes…'

_-You DON'T have to take it anymore.-_

'Yes… I WON'T! I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!'

_-Good.-_

'But…how? How can I?'

_-Give into me.-_

'What?'

_-You heard me... Give into me.-_

'Why?'

_-You want them not to bother you anymore, do you?.-_

'Yes…but…'

_-Then you MUST give into me.-_

'Ooookay…no offence, but who ARE you?'

-_Can't you tell?-_

'………well……no…..'

_-I am you.-_

'Me? What do you mean? How?'

_-I am you, Mikey. I am the REAL you who you've been putting back for SO long.-_

'What?! You can't be?! Can you?'

_-Don't be so simple minded, my friend. I AM you… Your true self. I AM the way you ARE supposed to be. I am the true you. And I am your only and for truly 'best friend'. -_

'You… are?'

_-Yes. You must remember, 'best friend', that one can only trust himself and not others. This world is filled with backstabbers, killers, thieves just waiting to claw at you and hurt you.-_

'Yes.'

_-And for that, this world MUST pay!- _

'Yes…I mean….no…I…'

_-Do you want them to know that you've had enough?-_

'Yes, I do…but…'

_-Then give into me!-_

'I…don't know…'

_-Mikey, I am your only true friend. I am you! You must trust yourself before you can trust the likes of others, am I right?-_

'Yes…you are…but…'

_-Then give into me! You really don't have a choice, Mikey, if you want to make a stand in all this. You MUST give into me and you MUST do it now! Either that, or you will suffer for the rest of your ENTIRE LIFE!-_

**To Be Continued**

Well, what you think? LOL I'll try to get to the next chapter soon. Stay tuned if you want to know what happens next and if Raph will find his brother or not before it is too late.


	3. Soaking wet

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. Thank you guys for reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. Yes, I'm hoping I will make this story not seemed rushed.

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 3_**

By Raphangela

_-Splinter… Splinter… Splinter…-_

The soft voice still whispers throughout Splinter's psyche.

_-SPLINTER!!!!-_

Splinter immediately opens his eyes with a gasp. The voice has finally stopped and Splinter sighs extendedly. Finally his mind is at peace, the way he wants it to be. But how long will that peace last? The voice had gone silent immediately after it seemed to have roared viciously and angrily at him. However, he also felt like the voice had seemed to be crying out to him in misery. It sounded poignant, depressed, and sounded as if it wanted to reach out to someone for help; like a desperate cry from a lost soul that is lost in the darkness. What really stressed him out, though, is that the voice wasn't really recognizable, but it felt like it. It felt like it belonged to someone close, really close. It felt like it belonged to one of his son's, but he did not know whose.

Splinter sighs to himself and thinks, 'Will I ever know the answer to this?'

"Master Splinter!" Leo's voice calls out. "Donny and I are home!" Leonardo walks into view with his brother. They are both soaking wet, making Splinter raise his eyebrow.

"How was the trip? And where are your brothers?" Splinter asks with part curiosity, part worry.

"The trip was awful, Sensei. All it seems to do is pour terribly outside… worse than usual. We found nothing either." Leo clearly answers. "And no, we don't know where Raph and Mike are. We thought they would already be home. Aren't they here with you, Master?"

"No, my sons, I have not seen them once entering and neither did I even hear them." Splinter replies. "Weren't they with you when you both left? I thought you all went together, were you not?"

"Yeah," Leo explains. "But I split us up into two groups a little while before it ever began to rain. I had no idea that it would begin to rain like that." 

"Then we must wait then for their return." Splinter suggests with a sigh. "I'm sure that they will be back soon. In the mean time, the both of you better get yourselves dried and washed up. I do not want any of you catching a cold, let alone catching the flue."

"Yes, Sensei." Leonardo says.

Leonardo and Donatello both nod respectfully to their master and do what they are told. Donatello goes and retrieves towels from the bathroom and returns with two of them, giving one to his brother. Leonardo thanks him and they both dry off quickly. Leo tells his brother to take a shower first and Don complies. Splinter smiles at Leo's leadership skills, but then frowns when he remembers that two of his son's are still out there.

'Be careful, my sons, and please come safely home soon.' 

**-----******

'Cold…So cold…' Mikey shivers from the rain, his tears still leak from his eyes. The cold rain chills him to the bone and his energy is depleted from all of the crying he has done. 'So cold…so very cold….' He cries as he shivers more. The voice in him has quieted down a little, but has not gone away.

_-…Give into to me…-_

'No.'

_-…Give into to me…-_

'No way… Go away!'

_-…You can't fight me forever…-_

'Yes I can! Go away!'

_-…I'll never go way…-_

'Please…just go way… please… Just leave me alone.'

_-…I can't do that…-_

'… I wanna go home…'

_-…You can't go home…-_

'Why not?'

_-…You can never go home…You're not welcome there anymore, remember?-_

'That's not true!'

_-…Yes it is….you know it is…-_

'Just shut up! I don't care what you say! I just wanna go home! Just go way! Please…just go away. I command you to go way!'

_-…I can't go away… I'm you, remember?…-_

'No, you are not me! You lie! Please… Just leave!'

_-…I'll never go away…You can't fight me forever…-_

'Please just go…please…just go…' Mikey thought as his body getting weaker by the minute. The cold rain and his weeping have taken its course and have made him weak and weary. The voice grows quieter and quieter by the minute.

_-…I'll never go away…You can't fight me forever…-_

'Please……go…..go….away….' Mikey tries to keep his eyes open.

_-…I'll never go away …-_

'…..go….'

_- …You can't fight me forever……never…-_

'……go…….'

_-…never…-_

Mikey can no longer keep his eyes open or keep his mind straight. Mikey starts to fall asleep on the cold, wet pavement underneath him. His body begins to relax and slowly slides down on his side. He falls asleep quickly after that.

_-…I'll never go away …-_

**-----******

"Mikey!!" Raphael calls out as he runs throughout the city; he even had searched through the Bronx. He also checked the underground subway; of course he had stolen some clothes before he went from a thief he had gladly beaten up. He then discarded them afterward when he decided he didn't need them anymore. Raphael sighs. It is a good thing it is late a night because no one really is up after twelve o'clock expect drunks and a few other people, but Raph doubt that anyone else would be, especially in this weather. They'd have to be crazy to. Crazy like him, because he had hurt his best friend and his brother. "Please, Mikey!! Where are you!! Answer me, buddy!!"

He runs through the now flooding alleys, splashing the water mixed with dirt and other things that were left carelessly on the streets. The garbage that was once in the tipped over garbage cans seems to float in the two inch deep water. Raphael accidentally slips down really hard onto his shell and slides a few feet down. Raphael quickly gets up and shakes his head, his senses feel a little bit knocked. "What a night… WHAT A NIGHT!" He continues to run, but more carefully now.

Getting tired, he decides to jump on top of one of the buses that went around and in the city at night, but gets on top of a diesel truck instead. From there, he looks as much as he can for his brother. He knew could not stay long and it was only to catch his breath for a wee bit, so after a few minutes he jumps right off. He darts into an alley and finds himself cursing. "Dammit!" He growls to himself. "Where are you, Mikey?!" He shuts his eyes tightly and screams at the heavens, "MIKEY, WHERE ARE YOU!!?!"

Feeling as if all hope is lost inside of him, he decides he should better go home and tell the others what happened. He dreads going back, especially without his brother. Things will be different if only he can find Mikey. He sighs to himself and says, "I'm SO sorry, Mikey. I….I'm SO sorry…" He lowers his head in shame and shakes it. "I don't know what got into me back there…if only I kept my mouth shut… You wouldn't be out here hurting because of me." He walks slowly out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. He walks sadly down it, becoming more depressed with the matters at hand.

_ "Raph..."** Cough. Cough **_

 He lifts his head up quickly when he hears a familiar voice and then a coughing sound. "Mikey?" He turns his head toward where the sound came from. He sees a familiar shivering figure lying on the wet and cold ground all the way in the back of an alley. The figure almost seemed lifeless if it weren't for it shivering. All at once, Raphael feels as if his heart had stopped and a deep hurt within grows. "Mikey?" It doesn't answer, so he begins to run up to the shivering form. "MIKEY!?"

'Oh, please. Don't let that be him. Please, God, please.' He prays in his thoughts.

Raphael comes to a slow walk, fear trying to keep him back, but he doesn't stop until he reaches the form in front of him. He comes to a halt and gasps. "Mikey!" There before him lays his little brother, shivering violently with his eyes closed tightly shut. All of his color seems to have paled and he does not look too well at all. He looks as pale as death. "Mikey…. Mikey…" Raphael tries to speak to him, but all he keeps on getting is his brother's constant murmur that doesn't make sense at all.

"Mikey, wake up. Wake up, Mikey." Raph says as he quickly kneels down and shakes his brother, but still gets no response other than his brother's violent shaking. Raph winces at the feel of touching Mikey's cold skin, it feels cold as ice, and Mikey's rough coughing spells doesn't ease the sorrow he feels. Raphael looks at his brother's face closely and sees the tear stained cheeks and his face muscles constrict tightly in a miserable, hurting look. Raphael is brought to tears by this and gently takes his brother into his arms. He embraces his brother dearly and closely. "I'm SO sorry, Mikey. I'm SO sorry. Please forgive me."

Raphael picks Michelangelo up into his arms and carefully carries his brother back to the lair. The torrential rain slowly turns into a light shower by the time he reaches a manhole.

**To Be Continued**

Sorry about this chapter being a little short. LOL. I'm actually very glad that Raph found him…now…I must work on the next chapter. Stay tuned.


	4. A brother's tears

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. Thank you guys for reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. Only time will tell what will happen to Mikey.

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 4_**

By Raphangela

"Where are they?" Leo asks Splinter and Donatello, pacing back and forth like a trapped tiger. His loved ones watch him as they do, feeling the same way Leo feels- worried is no longer the word for it. Their anxiety has worsened for the past several hours and there is no sign of either Raphael or Michelangelo.

"You've asked that for like the millionth time already, Leo." Donny answers as he calls on the Turtle Com he had been using to try to reach one of his missing brothers for hours, but still has had no answer. "We don't know."

Splinter shakes his head worriedly and then sighs. "Have you made any success in reaching them, Donatello?" 

Donatello frowns deeply and shakes his head. "Strange... I've tried to call them on the Turtle Com numerous of times, but neither of them seems to answer." He answers despondently.

Not liking the news he has received, Leo speaks determinedly, "If they don't show up soon or anything, I'm going out there looking for them." Leonardo sighs and says, "I hope nothing bad has happened to them."

"I don't even want to think about anything happening to them," Donatello answers, his mood now tense. "Especially to Mikey."

"Don't say that, Don." Leonardo declares to his ingenious brother. "Nothing bad has happened to any of them. I know it! Everything's going to be all right, I'll make sure of it." Leo stops pacing and starts to head toward the exit, but is stopped by none other than Splinter.

"You will wait here, Leonardo." Splinter calls out to him.

Leo tries to change his sensei's mind, "But Master-"

"No!" Splinter commands and he seems he could stab the stone tiled floor with his walking stick. "I do not want anymore of my sons out there on the streets. It's already bad enough that two of them already are." Splinter shakes his head and rubs his snout in stress. "No, I refuse to have anymore of my sons running the streets out there."

Leo frowns sadly and bows his head respectfully. "I'm sorry, Sensei…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about, my son." Splinter advises the young leader who now stands before him. "It is only natural for one to go looking for his lost loved ones, for it is what a person with a heart would do." Splinter smiles at him and then says, "Do not fret, my son, for I sense that they are drawing near."

Leonardo smiles back and says, "Thank you, Master." His smile then turns back into a frown as he then says, "I just wish we could at least do something. I really want to look for—"

"MASTER SPLINTER! LEO! DON!" A proverbial voice shouts out. "COME QUICK!"

"Raph!" Leonardo and Donatello call out at the same time. They run to their exhausted brother, but they stopped horrifying view before them. Clutched in Raphael's arms is none other than their little brother, Michelangelo.

"Raphael, what are you—" Splinter immediately gives a huge gasp when he sees a comatose and very sickly turtle being clutched protectively in Raphael's arms. "Michelangelo! Raphael, what happened?"

Raphael gulps and begins to stammer with his words, "I…I…I…he…he…he disappeared…I…"

Splinter sighs and shakes his head. "Never mind for now, Raphael, tell us later… your brother has to come first right now for he needs medical attention fast." He says when spotting a badly bleeding deep gash in Michelangelo's left leg beside the left side of the knee.

Raphael nods hastily at his martial arts master and peers down at his fallen brother. As he did, he felt warm liquid threatening to fall from his blurring eyes and down his cheeks. He folds onto his brother more closely to his body. The youngest turtle looks so delicate in Raphael's arms that it looks like he could break anytime soon if not handled right. Raphael carefully carries Mikey into the infirmary as the others wait patiently for him to lay the young lad down onto the sick bed.

As soon as Raphael did, Donatello rushes over to Michelangelo and checks for a pulse. Donatello frowns deeply when he notices that it is faint and slow. Donatello quickly straps Michelangelo onto life support, puts in an IV into Mike's arm, and then looks at his brothers gravely. "He's lost a lot of blood, badly. One of you two will have to donate due to the fact that I have a different blood type than his and I'm also busy making sure that he stays alive." He stoutly states. 

Leo watches Raphael who is also watching him back and is also looking at Mikey at the corner of his eye. Leonardo sighs in his mind as he sees the impairing looks his brother is sending him. Leonardo wants to help Mikey in all the best ways that he can, but he can clearly see that it is Raphael who wants to be the one to help his younger brother this time. Leonardo doesn't know what happened to them, especially to his younger brother, but he has a hunch that Raphael has a lot to do with it. Leonardo notes on the looks of how bad that Raphael wants to help the youngest of the four. Leonardo also notes that Raphael rarely ever shows concern or any emotion besides anger for any of them. Seeing as how Raphael is acting, Leonardo decides to let his brother volunteer instead of him. Leonardo nods at his brother and thinks, 'Okay, Raph.' Raphael smiles at him and nods back.

Donatello watches as the two brothers looking at each other closely. "I will." Raphael volunteers and goes over to Donny. Donatello carefully searches for a vain in one of Raph's arms. Donatello finds a blood vain and then puts a needle in Raph's left arm and then quickly attaches the tube that belongs to it that is attached to Michelangelo. Donatello stares at Mikey for awhile then sighs to himself as he thinks, 'Poor Mikey… I wish I knew what happened. However, I have a feeling that I really don't want to know.' He then looks at Raphael, who seems to be lost in his own thoughts. 'You've better not be the one to have hurt him, because if so, I'll never forgive you for this one.'

Raphael watches the blood flow through the tube line and into his brother's arm. Raphael then begins to stare at his youngest brother being cared for and being stitched carefully and promptly on the leg by his brother, Don. Raphael stares quietly at Michelangelo as thoughts rush through his head. He remembered what he thought after he had said those cruel things to his brother.

**_Hopefully the idiot will go home and not follow me._**

****

Raphael shuts his eyes tightly at the memory. He feels the aching dread and regret strengthening within him as the memory of what he thought continues.

****

**_It's not like I need to be babysitting his ass all freakin' night. For cryin' out loud, what does Leo think I am? A fuckin' damn babysitta? Shit! Why can't they see that I want my own life and no one else's? What 'bout me? Can't they think of me and what I want for once? Is that so fuckin' hard to ask for, huh? Shit… If it makes anythin' betta for myself for that weakling of a brat to die, so help me God, let it be!  _**   

Raphael opens his eyes and warm and salty tears sneakily fall from his cheeks. Not paying any attention to the fact that a few of his tears have fallen that he had tried to hold back, he just let's them roll down and fall off his face and doesn't wipe them off. He stares almost endless at his unconscious brother's face and how it looks so cheerless in his sleep. Michelangelo looks so pale and weak that he looks like he could die any moment. 'Don't think that, Raphy ol' boy.' He assures himself in his head. 'He's strong. He'll make it. This is Mikey we're talkin' about. He's gonna live and be happy like he always is…smilin' like he always does…for us…for me.'

Raphael doesn't notice Donatello at all as Don removes the tube and needle from his arm and nor does he notice Don putting a band aide where the needle once was. He's too busy focusing on Mikey and his thoughts to notice or to even care about what his intelligent brother is doing. Donatello just looks at him and then at Mikey and then back at him, he then goes back to his business and cleaning up the place after shaking his head. Leonardo had gone to train and focus on his fighting skills and Splinter went back to meditate, all of them fully aware of Michelangelo's conditions.

Truthfully, they all wanted to ask Raphael what exactly happened to Michelangelo and how, but they all knew just by looking at him that it's not a good time to. Raphael not only looks too depressed and lost in his own world, but he also looks like he could burst into a rampage if messed with. He has that 'don't mess with me' feeling he usually has when he's angry or upset about something. Although they knew they could force the information out of the angry turtle, they knew their boundaries of when and not to mess with him. Tonight is most definitely not the night to mess with him, for he is far too upset to even speak without even stuttering. Something must have happened and it must've been seriously bad. They'll have to ask him later on when he's good and ready, if he ever is, or when Michelangelo wakes up… IF he wakes up, that is.

Donatello looks at Raphael once more and then at Michelangelo before leaving the room. He knows that Raphael will want to stay in the infirmary tonight or until Mikey wakes up, so he left his brother a nice warm blanket, a small pillow, and a cot for him to sleep on. Although, Don seriously doubts Raph will use the cot and sleep in the chair instead, he still laid the cot beside bed that Michelangelo is laying on. Hopefully, Raphael will use it. If not, well, it is his choice to. Donatello sighs and leaves the room to continue with his projects, research, reading, or something to get his mind off of the suffering look of his unconscious younger brother. Don was never fond of pain or suffering and still never is. He could never understand why Raph likes gore so much, to him it is far too upsetting to hear of things like that, let alone see them. In fact, as much as Don wanted to, he knows that he could never understand his brother for they are like in two different worlds. Don decides to read a book, not caring much about the title or the fact he could have read it before. He just wants to find serenity in his own mind from things like what just happened today. He has a funny feeling that Raph has something to do with all of this. His gut instinct keeps telling him that and he seriously doesn't doubt that any of the others don't feel the same way.   

Raphael sighs and sighs some more as he then gets up and walks up to his younger brother on the bed. He kneels down beside him and studies his brother's face closely; it looks so sad and miserable. Raph couldn't help but notice the look on his brother's face; Michelangelo looks as if he's suffering from a horrible nightmare of some kind and can't wake up or even move. He seems to be completely petrified by the dream that it paralyzed his body, or at least that's what Raphael wants to think. Raphael wanted it to be a nightmare, a nightmare that Mikey will soon wake up from—what they all will wake up from. 'That's right.' Raphael thinks as caresses his younger brother's pale head gently. 'It's all just a big nightmare. None of this is real… None of this ever really happened. C'mon, Mikey. Wake up… I wanna wake up from this! I wanna wake up from this night of terror like it never happened! Please! Wake up!' Raphael gently lays his head on his brother's chest, failing miserably on hold back his tears any longer. Feeling exhausted and wearied down, Raphael slowly drifts off to a deep slumber in the same position he was lastly in, knowing full well what the truth is. He also knew that only nightmares will come into him in his sleep this night, even though at least he is at his brother's side during the whole time.

**To Be Continued**

I'm SO sorry for being late. I've been busy lately. Hopefully, I will write more soon and continue this. I'm glad that you guys like it so far. Please review and stay tuned for the next chapter!


	5. A Nightmare and a Promise

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. Thank you guys for reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. Only time will tell what will happen to Mikey….oh, and here's a little something for ya all. 

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 5_**

By Raphangela

_It is a cold night and the lair had a certain air about it that would make you shiver to the bone. Raphael finds himself walking around the place looking for something, or more preferably, 'someone'. Raphael looks around himself in the dim lighted place that serves as their family 'spend time together' room, where they do from exercises to relaxation. The place is empty and feels even emptier than it looks, which is very unusual to him. The room no longer had its cheerful, homey feel like it usually does. It felt like it was rushed out without an explanation, like it was forced to leave by some unknown and wicked force. Raphael shivers at the thick coldness in the air and at the deafening silence of only hearing flames burning. He quickly spots the source of the given light— _

_Countless numbers of candle sticks are badly melted down to their bases, located all over the room and even up and down the stairway. They are even up on the next floor level of the lair, leading up into what it appeared to be Michelangelo's and Raphael's shared room.    _

_"Master Splinter?!__ Leo?! Don!? Mikey!?" He calls out, trying not to sound so desperate for one of them to answer him. _

_However, he doesn't get any answers at all. Instead, minutes later, he hears some kind of musical sound coming from Mikey's and his room. It sounds like a tune you'd hear from a music box, but it is a sad and quite depressing tune. The sound irks him, but also inquisitive at the same time. Raphael decides to go investigate and carefully climbs the stairway Donatello had finally decided to build not too long ago. Raphael carefully follows the burning down candles that lead to the room where the sounds had came from. The sad musical sounds had slowly died down to a stop.  _

_Once he reaches the door, he notices that it is a quarter of a way open so it would seem that the candles' warm flames wouldn't heat up the room too much. Raphael slowly, inch by inch, opens the door as it makes a long screech like a painful and haunting moan. The light from the candles behind him seem to pour into the nearly dark room, only a few candles were lying about on the dressers. _

_Raphael shivers greatly at how the room feels so gloomy, dark, lonely, and empty to him. He can't help but feel like he's not wanted there, that something wicked is telling him to leave and get out for good. Something dark and evil is lurking in the room somewhere, Raphael can feel it. The unsettling queasy, chilling, sick feeling building up inside of him down in his stomach tells him so. Cold sweat starts to trail and fall off of his body as he slowly dares to enter with caution. _

_Once inside, Raphael looks in the room and out of nowhere appeared a little bed that seemed all too familiar from his past. He slowly begins to creep over to it and notices a figure lying underneath the small blanket of the bed. As Raphael goes even closer, he notices that the small figure is lightly whimpering underneath the covers and is now shaking from coldness or fear. _

_"I'm all alone…" A familiar voice came from underneath the covers. "I'm SO alone…it's so dark…why did they leave me alone…all alone…in…in the dark?" Raphael then hears the individual begin to cry out loud. "Why did they leave me?! Were they never there for me in the first place!?" Raphael stops a foot away from the bed and listens closely to the familiar voice's words. "Why…did…they hurt me? Why…did…HE…hurt me? I've…always looked up to him…as my hero… So why? He…he…promised he'd…a-always be there to…to…protect me…. So, why? Why…did Raph hurt me? Why does he always hurt me?!" _

_Raphael gasps at the words, horrified by what reality brought to his mind. "Mikey?! Mike, is that you?" He asks himself more so than the individual lying in the bed. _

_Raphael quickly goes over to the side of the bed in utter worry, fearing that he might have hurt his brother worse than he had ever far expected. But how so? From the voice and the size of the figure, he can surely tell that the younger turtle is only of that of a child. Can this be a flash back or something? How can that be when he can't even recall a moment even near like this? Down to the point, it really confuses Raphael to hell and back. There's no way any of this can be real, but why does it feel like it? Raphael doesn't know the answer to any of it. He also doesn't want to know anything about it, even though his curiosity so much wants to. It's really starting to really freak him out so much it's hard to remain calm._

_The younger turtle gives one last final whimper before going into absolute silence. Raphael blinks as he watches the younger turtle become completely motionless and stiff. Raphael's horror becomes even worse than ever can be imagined when he hears the little turtle breath his final breath of life. Raphael begins to panic as he quickly sits on the bed and starts shaking the poor little thing to get it to wake up.      _

_"Mike? You okay?" He shakes the little turtle gently to get an answer of some kind, but doesn't get any. "Mikey! Mike!" His voice sounds hoarse and begins to crack up as he shakes the turtle even more, except more furiously. "Please, Mike…. ANSWER ME!! ANSWER ME, MICHELANGELO!!" He screams as tears force their way out and down his cheeks, staining them. Fear and adrenalin pumps into Raphael's body even more when he realizes the answer that he fears so much. He shakes his brother more violently than ever before. "Please… Please… DON'T DIE!! DON'T DIE, MIKEY!! PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME!! DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE HERE!! I BEG OF YOU!! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!"_

_Unconsciously, he picks up his little brother and holds him gently in his arms, holding him closely against the sounds of his now pounding and aching heart in his chest. Raphael begins to rock his brother back and fourth, like that of a heartrending mother cuddling the new born that's life was stolen from her. "Michelangelo….please…please…PLEASE COME BACK TO ME!! I'm…SO, SO, SO SORRY!!" He cries out miserably to himself and to his deceased brother, hoping Michelangelo's ghost can hear him. "I DIDN'T MEAN THE THINGS I SAID TO YOU!! I…I…I LOVE YOU!! COME BACK TO MEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEHEEEEE!!"_

_Then all of a sudden, his brother's body disappears out of his arms without a trace or a warning. Raphael goes wild as he gets up and aimlessly searches for his brother's body, not finding it in the bed and nor the room. "Mikey!" He calls out in terror. "Mikey, where are ya!?" He gets no answers of any kind and feels like he wants to sink deeper into the list of his terrible depressions, this being the worst.  _

_Raphael goes back to the little bed and sinks down onto his knees beside it. He quickly lays his head down into his arms that are Indian-styled and then lays his arms and head onto the side of the bed. He begins to cry uncontrollably of what had happened to his brother and what had happened to him. Just when he thought he was alone and things couldn't get even worst, he hears a voice laughing sadistically at him. Raphael lifts his head up and growls furiously at the voice. He looks around to see where it is coming from, but sees no one around in sight. _

_"Who are you? Who's there?" He orders it to answer. "Answer me or I will make sure that YOU 'WILL' PAY DEARLY! Who the fuck is you!?"_

_The voice sneers cruelly at him and speaks in a cold manner, **You're**** such a fool, Raphael. Do you really think that he'd come back to you? You of all people?** It then scoffs at him with a chuckle. **You of all people should know better than that.**_

_"That doesn't answer my damn question, dammit!" Raphael spat, loathing the voice right from the very beginning. "Now, answer it!"_

**_You will know soon enough, Raphael. You will know…the hard way_**

_"The hell fuck I won't!"_

**_You WILL, Raphael. Oh, you will… Rather you'll like it or not, you will._**_ It laughs cruelly and then says, **Oh, you WILL!**_

_Raphael grumbles under his breath and then asks, "Answer me this, then… What have you done with my brother, you mothah fuckin' asshole!? Huh?! Say!"_

**_Temper…temper…_**_ The voice taunts Raph, making him growl even more. **Your temper will be your worst downfall, Raphael…or should I say it already has? If not for you, then it must be for your brother then.** _

_That stroke a nerve in Raphael somewhere in his body, whether it would be in his mind or in his heart, he does not know._

**_Poor, poor little Mikey… So hurt and SO alone...SO…dead. _**

_"No…" Raphael gasps and then shouts, "NO!"_

**_It's true, Raphy-pooh. He's as good as dead!_**

_"NO!" Raphael cries out and covers his ears. "You're lying! He's not dead! He's not dead! He's NOT DEAD!"_

**_You really are pathetic. You can't even accept the truth that even lies right before your eyes._**

_"What truth? He's alive! I know he is! He's gotta be!"_

**_ You saw him die, Raphael… And now it's time to let go._**

_"No! NO!" Raphael cries out. "NO!"_

**_Let him go._**

_"NO! I'll never let him go!"_

**_You must let him go, Raph._**

_Raphael growls wrathfully, "NO!!"_

_It whispers soothingly to him,** Raphael, your Mikey is ill… and is dying **_

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"___

--

"MIKEY!!" Raphael cries out in a startling wake. He looks around himself and sees that he's back to where he was to begin with, in the infirmary. He looks down and sees that his brother is still right where he had left him. Raphael sighs and says, "It was only a dream…a damn freakin' nightmare." He sadly smiles down at his brother and grasps his brother's free hand firmly, but compassionately. Something he'd never do, especially when someone is looking. His smile widens when he feels the warmth of this brother's skin, no longer being cold like it was before when he had found him five days ago. Raphael begins to watch his brother's breathing pattern carefully. Already, his brother is showing some signs of improving.

'That's it, Mikey. Breath in and out for me…' Raphael thinks as he caresses the young turtle's head. 'Tell me that you're alive and well for me.'

**_Raphael, your Mikey is ill…and is dying_**

****

'No, he's not.' Raphael diverges with the reminiscence. He continues to keep a watchful eye onto his brother. 'He's gonna be okay. I'll make sure to that. I promise.' He clasps onto his brother's hand more decisively, feeling as if he doesn't want to let go.

"I promise you, Mikey. I'll protect you no matter what happens. I'm here for you until the end." 

**To Be Continued**

I really want to make these chapters longer… I'm doing the best as I can…. I think. LOL! Stay tuned if you want to know if Mikey will wake up soon or not. I'm not gonna reveal things, 'cause I want things to be a surprise. Plus, I already have a plot in mind for the story. So, you'll have to find out for yourselves what will happen.  


	6. Mikey's fight for the chance to be lied ...

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. Thank you guys for reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. Oh, and thank you all for your help, too. I'm trying to correct the mistakes when I notice them and I want to thank you all for pointing some of them out for me.  The song lyrics in the chapter belong to Evanescence. The name of the song is "Lies" and is sung by Mikey and his 'voice'.  Pay closely attention to this chapter… You can clearly see that Mikey is already being persuaded through his dreams…his nightmares. BTW, this chapter is in his dreams.

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 6_**

By Raphangela

**_"You will always be weak, Mikey!" Raphael laughed cruelly when he punched Mikey tremendously hard in the shoulder, which knocked the poor and exhausted turtle down onto the cold cement. Mikey looked up at his brother and he tried not to let the tears swell up into his eyes. Michelangelo cringed at the appearance of his brother's dark face and saw the evil smile his brother had made for him. Mikey then grabbed his own shoulder; he winced at the throbbing pain when he barely had touched it. He knew that it will become a big huge bruise sooner or later. He felt his mouth go dry and a lump had formed into his throat. He gulped the lump down his throat and felt like he could no longer contain the pain inside of him. _**

****

**_"Why?" He asked his brother. "Why are you hurting me like this?"_**

****

**_"Because you are a weak idiot, Mikey…" His brother replied as he crossed his arms. "And you will always be weak and idiotic, dear brother of mine." Raphael began to laugh cruelly at him brother's weaknesses. _**

****

**_"Stop it!" He yelled at his brother. "I can't stand it anymore!" His brother kept on laughing, except more evilly. _**

****

_"I DEMAND THIS MEMORY TO GO AWAY AT ONCE!!"_

**/Mikey:** Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again**/**__

_All at once his brother disappears in a blink of an eye. The memory of his brother had gone away…for awhile at least. Mikey begins to sob to himself, remembering the memory all too well. He remembers that it was several weeks ago when it happened, that his brother and he decided to have a little spar while they waited the others to return from their salvaging through a tiny junkyard not too far from where the city's garbage problem goes. It was only for fun, but Raph's ways of fun is entirely different from that of his. Raphael had almost pounded him senseless if weren't for the others returning before Raph almost got knocked unconscious. Of course, he forgave his brother and tried to put it all behind him of what had happened. He could easily tell that his brother didn't need much time to forget the whole deal, but for himself, Mikey couldn't forget. It stayed with him until now, but he never showed or said anything about it, nor did he let it affect his attitude or anything else. He kept himself smiling and joking, just like always. He refused to be like his brother or like anyone else for that matter. He remembers Raphael's punishment; Raphael was not allowed to leave the lair for a week and he had to clean the dishes the same week. That was all he had to do, but Raphael was angry at Mikey for that, though. At every night of that week, Raphael punched, flicked, and pushed him while nobody else was looking. Mike would've told on him, but Raphael threatened to punch his lights out if he did. So, that entire week, Mikey suffered miserably, but he was glad that it only lasted that week and Raphael returned to what he normally would do with his life… Waste it._

**_-He always wastes his life away… That's all he does and that's all he'll ever know.-_**

**/Voice:** You will never be strong enough  
You will never be good enough  
You were never conceived in love  
You will not rise above**/****__**

_"That bastard..." Mikey growls out loud. "Always going off drinking, taking drugs, and cutting himself. Who does he think he is?"    _

**_-He's a pathetic fool, that's what. He's that type that never appreciates anything… A type that goes out to waste his life away on idiotic things like booze and drugs that waste the cells in the brain away…Not like he had any, anyway.-_**

_"He never did…" Mikey concurs. "The fool! Oh, how I remember the times I use to secretly watch him and the things he did. I use to watch him cut himself in places, especially his wrists and arms. The suicidal lunatic… Cutting himself, feeling so sorry for himself… Always thinking that he's all alone in his pain and that no one feels the same as he does. I use to feel sorry for him…but now…He…he…he…makes me…he makes me…"_

**_-Ill?-_**

****

**/Mikey:** They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**/****__**

_"Yes…He makes me feel bitterly ill about him. All he ever does is mope around and about himself, being self-centered, always hurting us…always hurting me. All he cares about is himself…" Mikey gasps and goes wide eyed. "What am I saying? He's my brother… What's gotten into me? Raph's my-"     _

**_-Brother? How can you call that weakling your brother? How can you call someone who endlessly hurts you for only trying to help him and be there by his side? All he does is hurt you, Mikey. He never cared for you… Not even once.- _**

_"Not true… He did help me…a lot… He saved me several times."_

**_-Yes…but the real truth about him helping you is that he only does it because he has to. If he never did, he thinks he'll never hear the end of it from the others, which also feel the same way about you. You know that deep within yourself that he'll never truly care about you. In fact, he'd rather see you go…go and die. Don't tell me otherwise, because you know that it's what he desires of you.-_**

****

**/Mikey:** But through my tears breaks a blinding light  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night  
Arms outstretched, awaiting me  
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree**/****__**

_Mike remains quiet, not know what to say towards this for he knows that the voice is right. Raphael is always cruel to him, always hurting him, and he felt like his brother wanted him to die. He felt it so many times off of his older brother…And for this, Mikey knows that the voice is true and he is completely sick of the way his brothers treat him, especially Raphael._

**_-Face it, you're sick and tired of him and you know it! Remember the times when your brother hurt you? Remember when your brother had gotten angry when you won against him in sparring and he took a rusty wrench and almost hit you dead in the head?-_**

_"Yes… He almost killed me…He…"_

**_ -Wanted you to die! He always did and he still does. Remember the times he pushed you around and hit you so hard that you bled and had bruise marks for weeks? Remember the times he forced you to shut up about them? Remember how he told you to shut up about everything? How he hurt you not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well?-_**

****

**/Voice:** Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I have lived and I died for you  
Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you**/**  
  
**__**

_Mikey nodded._

**_-And all you did was smile and let him overtake you. How pathetic must you be to let someone with less intelligence get away with such deeds? You really must be more stupid than he is to let him hurt you like that and get away with it. You must be really stupid to not only let him, but other as well, to laugh at you. Believe me, Michael, they're not laughing with you, they're laughing at you… They always have and always will…IF you let them.-_**

_"I…I…I…"_

**/Mikey:** They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**/****__**

**_-You're sick and tired of the way the others treat you! All they ever do is hurt and abuse you! Not even Splinter shows you the recognition you deserve! Stand up for yourself!-_**

_"I know…I know…I want to stop them…I want to stand up…but…I can't. If I do, they'll just ignore me and laugh at me…and Raph would be angrier at me. I tried to stand up several times against him for the way he treated me, but he turned around and hurt me…badly. He had pounded me senselessly when I did…and I couldn't even fight back." Mikey begins to sob harder. "I couldn't fight back!" _

**_-Don't cry. Don't ever cry again! Dry up your tears… One must not cry over spilt milk. Crying is for the weak, that's why your brothers overtake you… You are weak. You are SO weak; everyone thinks little of you because of it. All they think is that you are is a dumb mother fucker who can't help but smile all the time, but cries silently to himself when problems occur. They know you cry, Michelangelo. They just haven't done a thing about it because they could care less about you or your well being! Don't cry…'Cause it's not going to make your problems go away. It's not going to stop them from hurting you. In fact, it makes things much worse. It makes them think you are too weak to stand up for yourself, so they take the opportunity to use and abuse you! And when they are all finished with you… They'll dumb you out on a small corner to rot and fester for the rest of your lives.-_**

**/Mikey:** They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**/****__**

_"But…but they are my friends… They'd never…"_

**_-Friends?! Friends?! You have no friends! You only have yourself and you can only count on number uno! You, yourself, you can only count on yourself! No one loves you! You think they love you? You think they love you still, throughout all these years of inner torment they've put you through? You've got to be joking! Only a fool would think such things. Quit lying to yourself and see the truth! They DO NOT LOVE YOU and they will NEVER LOVE YOU!! It doesn't take a genius to see that! Even a simple minded fool can see such things! Don't be a fool, Michelangelo, quit lying to yourself and see the naked truth to it all- They don't even care!-_**

_Michelangelo remains quiet for awhile for he can not reply at all, because he is at lost for words. In fact, he is lost completely. He felt the truth within himself, mixed with all of the pain and suffering he feels deep within. He wants to be happy, he wants to be the same as he always is, but something keeps pulling at his heart and at his mind._

**/Voice:** Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I have lived yet died for you  
Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you**/****__**

**_-If you ever want to achieve anything in your life… If you want to finally end the pain within yourself… You must make a stand. You must stand up and get stronger. You must give into me… If you do, I promise you that I'll make you stronger. I'll give you all of your desires. I'll make all of your wishes come true… And I'll make sure no one will ever hurt you again. But…You must give into me, your true self. If you don't, you'll never get stronger… You'll always be weak. You'll always get ran over and used. You will always be hurting and crying within yourself…and you will waist away and die just like everyone wants you to.-_**

_"All…ever want…is for me to…suffer…" He shuts his eyes tightly and clinches his fists. "I HATE them! I hate them all!"_

**_- Don't let them win, Mikey. Don't let them have that satisfaction of seeing you suffer away… Prove to them, to yourself, that you are way much better than they think. Prove to them that if they stand outside during a Class 5 hurricane, they're going to get killed.-     _**

**/Mikey:** They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**/******

**To Be Continued**

Hopefully Mikey will be waking up soon. You'll have to wait and see what happens next.    


	7. A hellish past three weeks

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. Thank you all for reviewing my story, because it really means a lot to me. I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting so long… LOL! I've either been busy or I've not been feeling too well. Right now, I don't feel too well, but I will keep on writing just fro you guys. Plus, school starts next week on Thursday. OO Yikes! Oh, and I'd like to thank those who have helped me with this story and telling me things I need to know that's I've gotten wrong. Thanks guys!

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 7_**

By Raphangela

Three weeks have past and Michelangelo still has not shown any signs of waking up and Raphael doesn't show any signs of leaving his brother's side for anything, only to go to the bathroom and for other bodily needs and functions. Raphael has stayed by his brother's side since the beginning, and so help him; he isn't going to leave his side now. The others continue what they usually do, but they do spend some time with their little brother and checking on Raphael as well in the process.

Raphael smiles down at his still sleeping brother as he sits beside the sleeping Mikey. 'Oh, Mikey, there are so many things I need to say… There are so many things I want to tell you. If only if you know how I truly feel, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to speak to you or to the others. I'm sorry, bro. I didn't mean to say what I had said to you that night…maybe I did…but…I was angry… I was miserable…I was my usual horrible self, which I hate so much.'

He sighs to himself and frowns deeply as he lifts his head up and then closes his eyes. Raph sighs again and looks back down at his brother and leans down toward him. Raphael reaches his right hand out and begins to caress his brother's head compassionately. 'It's all my fault…'

Raphael grimaces as he remembers a recent and terrible dream he had of his little brother. The dream had scared him out of his wits. In the dream it was a memory of when Mikey and he were only kids, playing around in the sewers. He remembers it like if it were only yesterday.

Raphael was teasing Michelangelo, saying that he is a coward because he didn't like dark places. Raphael told him to prove that he isn't a scaredy-cat and dragged his whimpering and screaming brother into the darkest sewer tunnel not too far from where they lived. Once they were both in the midst of the darkness of the tunnel, Raphael had purposely left the poor sibling all alone to defend for himself. Raphael laughed when he ran out of the tunnel, he laughed at his brother's cries for him to not leave him all alone. However, instead of his brother running out of the dark tunnel like he did in the past, Mikey never did come out. Everything went from quiet to eerie in a split second. The young Raphael became worried and slowly went back to retrieve his littlest brother, but as he did, he saw a dark shadow scurry on past him. Thinking that it was Mike pulling a practical joke on him Raphael growled and turned around to yell at his brother, but stopped when he saw that it wasn't Mike at all. It was a tall, dark individual that looked much like them, but it had an evil aura about it. The young Raphael looked up into the dark, older turtle's formidable eyes that seemed to glow like that of red-hot smoldering flames. The young turtle silently trembled as the being looked down at him menacingly; he appeared to have very much abhorrence for the young turtle in the red bandanna. The being then smiled wickedly and psychotically when it noticed the turtle's fright. It then said in a gentle voice, which contrasted its appearance; "You're brother is dead." The evil turtle then began to laugh an evil psychotic cackle and that's when he woke up.    

Ever since what happened to his little brother, Raphael has had nothing but nightmares and sleepless nights. He usually doesn't get much sleep, but when he does, nightmares flood his dreams like if it were Halloween night repeating itself over and over again. Raphael loves horror films, but lately he doesn't even want to hear about one, let alone seeing one. His own dreams, his nightmares are much worse than that of a Steven King horror film and they are all about Mikey. The recent dream he had was slightly mild compared to all the others he had for the past three weeks. They were very dark, very gory, very eerie, and terribly horrific, something beyond that a horror movie fanatic could ever dream of. No one, not even criminals, would want to live a horror film…not even Raph. 

In those dreams, Raphael always seems to feel Michelangelo's presence, even in the dreams that have no sign of him. He felt his presence in them, like he is truly there, even in the darkness and even in the emptiness. He felt him there, even though it felt like he was out of reach, he felt him there.

Raphael sighs as he watches his brother's chest going in an up and down motion. Raphael very badly wants his brother to wake up soon and not later. He wants Mikey to wake up so that not only can he apologize and set things right, but also end the nightmarish hell he's been having every time he falls asleep.

"Please, wake up soon my brother."

**----******

"What could have happened that night?" Leonardo asked his brother, Donatello.

Donatello watches his older brother pace back and forth. He is sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. "I don't know, Leo." He answers sincerely.

Leo looks at him and sighs. He had been miserable ever since before the defeat of the Shredder, but now he's even more miserable than before. His family and friends mean a lot to him and seeing Mikey's condition does not make him one bit happy. And what's worse, Splinter has been having nervous breakdowns and doesn't seem to appear to be all too well. It's probably because of the worry he's been shedding over the youngest of them and also because he is of old age. Leo keeps an eye on both Splinter and his youngest brother and he is terribly worried for the both of them.  

Leo shakes his head and says; "Well, whatever has happened to him, I will find out. I swear it! When I find out whoever has hurt him like this, I'll make them pay dearly!" He growls and then sighs. "And I must find out quickly, or Sensei…" He frowns sadly down at the floor.

"I know, Leo. Master Splinter hasn't been doing too well lately." Donatello replies and then takes a sip of coffee from his favorite coffee mug. He sets it back down onto a coaster.  "I don't know what's gotten into him…or how long he will—"

"Don't even mention that, Don!" Leo stops pacing and snaps at his second youngest brother. "I don't want to hear it! Master Splinter will make it! He'll live, you'll see! He's strong; always has and always will be! Master Splinter is a fighter and the strongest one I know!"

"I know that, Leo." Donatello replies in a somber tone. "It's just… I'm just worried is all. I mean, we've had him all of these years and Sensei isn't getting any younger these days… I'm afraid and worried for our teacher and for Michelangelo….for all of us. Mikey still hasn't woken up yet." Don began to cry.

Leo sits down beside his hurting brother and embraces him and then says, "There, there…Everything will be alright." He tries hard not to cry himself. He keeps telling himself that he has to stay strong for his brothers, who need him more now than ever.

Donatello sobs loudly and embraces back for support. "I miss him. I miss Mikey! I miss hearing him being up to no good and I miss his jokes!"

"I know." Leo says, trying to comfort his brother along with himself. "I miss him, too."

"I miss hearing his voice and I miss him messing with things he shouldn't—" Donatello stops sobbing then smiles. "Like my lab."

Leo laughs and smiles. "Good ol' Mikey and his mischief." They then get out of the embrace they were in and smile at each other. "He was always up to no good…especially when it came to minding Sensei."

"And destroying my lab!" Don laughs. "You know most of my greatest inventions and discoveries always happened whenever he was around messing with things I told him not to touch… He was also a good…no, great helper, too, whenever he needed to be."

"Yeah," Leo agrees and then adds his own two cents in. "And he's also the gutsiest turtle I've ever known, too. Only he would have enough courage to dress up as a female numerous times to fool the enemies. Not even Raph and I wanted to ever do such things, but Mikey sure did it, though. He even saved his own enemies and tormentors who had hurt and tortured him so. If it were up to Raph or me, we would've forgotten them or killed them already… Mikey was always the kind and forgiving one."

Don smiles and says, "And different one, that's for sure!" They both look toward the infirmary.

"Yeah… I'm sure he'll be fine, Don." Leo reassures his brother and puts his right hand on his brother's shoulder. "I mean, this is Mikey we're talking about. Of course he'll be fine! We'll have our ol' Mikey back sooner than you and I think. I promise."

Donatello smiles at his brother and then nods and says, "I sure hope you're right."

**----******

Raphael had fallen back to sleep, still sitting in a chair right beside his brother. However, his sleep doesn't last long when he hears a familiar soft groaning sound coming from an individual right near him. Raphael quickly opens his eyes and then looks up over to the cot in front of him.   

"Mikey?"

**To Be Continued**

Ooooooooh. Is it Mikey? Has he finally woken up? If so, what's going to happen? You'll have to wait and see what happens next.     


	8. The Silence Begins

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

**Warning:** This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. Thank you all for reviewing my story, because it really means a lot to me. I hope you guys will like this chapter!

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 8_**

By Raphangela

"Mikey!"

Raphael sees that his youngest brother has finally awakened and tries to fight the urge to strongly embrace him, but the feeling quickly dies down into a repulsive feeling when he captures his brother's eyes. Michelangelo had sat upward, looking directly at him with a look that is both fearsome and ferocious. Mike's eyes seem to glow in the dimness of the room, making him look all cat-like. Michelangelo's expression looks mysterious and devious, as if his mind is somewhere else, but he is there at the same time.

Raphael tries to study his brother's eyes more to find out if his brother has changed or not, but his brother quickly shuts his eyes and turns away from him to prevent Raph from looking intensively into his eyes more. Raphael looks at him strangely and reaches over to touch his brother on the shoulder. However, Michelangelo grunts and moves away from his brother's touch, not wanting to be touched by him.

Raphael bites his lower lip in confusion and then sighs when he realizes what the problem is. "Mike, about what happened that night… I didn't mean what I did…and nor did I mean what I had said."

Michelangelo swiftly turned his eyes toward Raphael's direction and glares at him from the side of his eye. 'Oh, did you?' He contemplates hatefully. 'Did you, dear brother of mine?' His glare then turns into an icy stare when he stares into the darker side of the infirmary.

Raphael shakes his head and then glares at his youngest brother. "Mike. Don't you dare make this harder for me, Mikey." He said sternly.

Michelangelo glances at him disgustfully, his upper lip curled and his eyes squinted. 'That good for nothing Bastard! How dare he force me to forgive him! After all he's done to me and after all I've done for him…that bastard has no right.' Michelangelo turns back to watching the darkest part of the room, hoping that his brother will leave him alone soon.

Raphael grumbles and then roles his eyes at him, "Fine. Be that way. See if I care!" Raphael quickly gets up and stomps out of the room and slams the door to the infirmary on his way out leaving Mikey all alone in the secluded, dark room.

Michelangelo shuts his eyes, remembering the fear he has of the dark. He feels like crying, but cannot find the tears to shed them. He feels for the first time of his life the feeling of being completely apathetic.

"He left me…" Michelangelo whispers to himself in the dark. "He left me all alone." Deep within himself, Mikey really **didn't** want his brother to leave him all alone in the room. He **wanted** his brother to stay, but then again, Raphael was never there for him to begin with for him. He was never there to support him and was never there for him period. So, what difference does it make? None, at least to Michelangelo it doesn't. He **didn't** want his brother to leave, that is at first he **didn't**, but now he **is** glad that his brother **did** leave. He **is** glad that he **is** all alone and he thinks to himself, 'Maybe this is what I wanted ever since the beginning… **_Silence_**.' And all at once, his fear of the darkness goes away as the darkness starts to consume the inside of him and grow.

**----******

Once outside of the infirmary, Raphael sighs bitterly to himself.  He feels like pounding his younger brother in the face for acting the way he did. It annoys him greatly to see his brother to just give him the cold shoulder, just like he did in the infirmary. 'That little fucker will pay for not listening to me.' He thought distastefully. 'Remind me to never apologize to his ass ever again!' 

Raphael quickly walks over to the coat rack and jerks an overcoat and a hat hastily off of it and puts them on at the same speed.  He quickly darts for the lair's only exit, but stops midway and groans when he hears someone clear their throat.

"Where are you going, Raphael?"

Raphael rolls his eyes and retorts, "What's it look like, Leo." Raphael turns around to see his brother in blue looking at him crossly. "What? What is it now?" He growls.

"So, you finally decide to go out for a nightly stroll, eh Raph?" Leo states more than a question. He looks at his brother strictly and speaks with a matching tone, "You know Sensei had forbidden us from ever going out when our brother is still in an unconscious state back there. And about Michelangelo…Have you forgotten Mikey, Raph? Have you forgotten our own brother? Have you forgotten already about his health and well being? I thought you said you wanted to stay by him at all times? What? Has your self-centeredness already returned to you?"

"I don't need this shit now!" Raphael snaps at him. "Besides, that little shit is already awake anyway."

"He is?" Leo's eyes grew wide before they turned into a menacing glare. "And you never informed us?!"

Raphael glares back at him and replies, "Yeah, so? What's your point?"

"He's our brother, Raphael! Our brother!" Leo shouts, being pissed off on how inconsiderate his brother is.

Raphael sighs to himself. "What…ever." He says and then turns back around and continues to go toward the exit.

Leo grumbles and follows him. "So, you're just going to walk out, huh? Don't you even care?" He asks.

Once at the exit, Raphael turns around and glares at him. "I'm going out." He firmly states. "Whether you like it or not, Leo, I'm going out." And with that, Raphael leaves the lair and goes down the sewer tunnel.

Leo sighs and stands out at the exit, watching his angry brother walk away. He shakes his head and decides to hold his tongue on a remark he so urged to say. He turns around and reenters their home and hideout. Once inside, he sees his Master and his brother, Donatello, watching him come in as they have the look of bewilderment on their faces. Leo sighs and says; "Raph left to get some air." Hearing this, their bewilderment vanishes and is replaced with irritation.

Master Splinter shakes his head weakly and says; "When will he ever learn?"

"Well, you know Raph, Sensei; he always does what he pleases." Donatello says, trying to be optimistic, mainly for himself more than for the others. The others sigh and nod in agreement.

"Also," Leo informs them. "I just found out from Raph that Mikey has already awake from being unconscious." The others' eyes grew wide; Splinter's mouth went agape while Don's face shows contentment.

"Then let us visit him in the infirmary, then, shall we?" Splinter proposes and the others nod.  

The three walk over to the infirmary and see that the door has been shut. Leonardo grumbles underneath his breath as the other two look at the door questioningly. Leo quickly goes to open the door. Once the door is open, they peer inside and see Mike sitting all alone on the cot in the dark, looking downward at his healed up wound on his leg with a void expression on his face. They look at him and then at each other and then back at him. They frown at him.

"Michelangelo?" Splinter asks to get his attention.

Quickly, Michelangelo snaps out of his blank expression and looks up at them with bereaving eyes. He blinks at them slowly, but doesn't speak.

Not liking his son's grief at all, he asks "Michelangelo, what is the matter?" But all he gets is quiet.

"Yeah," Don adds in, feeling the same as the others. "And why are you sitting all alone in the dark?" He smiles and then turns on the light. Donatello doesn't get an answer, either, but gets a gloomy stare. Don frowns sadly, not feeling comfortable with the way his younger brother is staring at him. "Ooookay."

"Mikey," Leo steps in and gives it a shot. "What's the matter? What's wrong with you? Are you okay there, brother?"

Michael looks at him and then nods. The others sigh with relief, knowing at least they got this far. Michelangelo puts on a small and weak smile for them and sighs. The others look at Leonardo to continue talking, since it was him that got the first response.

"So, how are you feeling?" Leo asks him encouragingly. Mikey shrugs at him, but still does not saying anything. Leo continues to ask him a couple more questions in concern, "You tired?" Mikey nods. "Are you hungry?" Mikey nods. "Okay, then, lets get you something to eat then." He offers his right hand to help him up, but Mikey refuses and weakly gets up by himself. "Okay…Let's go then, shall we?"

Michelangelo nods and as well as the others. They smile at the youngest turtle, still feeling worried and yet relieved that he's now awake. They walk him to the dinning area and sit him down at the table. Leonardo and Donatello rush into the kitchen, eagerly to fix their brother his favorite pizza with all of the toppings he likes. Splinter sits across from him and smiles sadly at him. His son looks up at him and puts on a fake smile.

"It's good to see that you are awake, my son."

**To Be Continued**

Does Master Splinter know something? And what has become of Michelangelo? And what's with Raphael's attitude? And why can't he be happy and be nice for once for his brother, I'll never know. You'll have to wait and see what happens next.    


	9. Raphael's Childhood Memory

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

**Warning:** This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. Thank you all for reviewing my story, because it really means a lot to me. I hope you guys will like this chapter! The flash back in this chapter is back when the turtles don't know about the foot, but they do fight some crime here and there. Oh, btw, this is a Raph and Mikey chapter.

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 9_**

By Raphangela

"Who does he think he is, huh?" Raphael grumbles to no one in particular as he trudges angrily throughout the sewers. He's so irritable that doesn't even care about the rain and sewer water splashing on him with each angry step.

He continues to grumble to himself, "Why couldn't he just have accepted my apology like he always does? Huh? Why?! I was right there! I sat beside him the whole entire time, while he was in 'la-la land', waiting for him to wake up! So, why? Why did he have ta go and be like that for anyways? It doesn't make sense!"

He instantly kicks the nearest thing, a coke can that had fallen in through the vents when it had stormed. The truth is, it does make sense to him, but he keeps telling himself that it doesn't. If he did accept it, to him it would be like accepting that all of those nightmares are true, and that he has lost his little brother for good and the relationship that they use to share. And knowing Raph, he'd do just about anything in order to not to accept that.

**Flashback**

_It was years ago, when the turtles were only kids. Michelangelo had gone off somewhere and that somewhere was top of a building beside the pier. Michelangelo sat at the edge of the building as he watched the red and orange sunset in the distance. Mikey loves it when the sun sets in the afternoons, he always wanted to watch the sunset, but Sensei had forbidden it. Mikey stared off into the distant sun, it didn't hurt his eyes. Michelangelo loved how the sun would be orange in the morning, a bright yellowish orange at midday, and for some reason it turn red in the afternoons. And then the night would come and everything seemed to go black, especially past midnight, that's when Mikey got to see the stars more. The afternoons and night were always his favorite, since it really is the time that he could come out without being seen and he loved looking at the dark night sky above. _

_He didn't stay alone for long, for a young Raphael had walked up from behind and had quietly sat beside his littlest brother. After a few moments of silence went by, Mikey spoke; "Raph…"_

_"Yes, Mikey?" Raphael asked._

_"Wha's yo'r favo'ite pa't of th' day?"__ Mikey asked in a sincere tone even though he talked like he had broken English, like a pre-k student does. Mikey was still watching the sunset._

_Raphael looked at his brother questioningly and asked; "Why?"_

_"'Cause I jus' wanna know, tha's why." Mike simply stated, still not looking at his brother._

_"Well…" Raphael thought out loud for his brother to hear. "I'd say… I like when it's night. Yeah, that's it." _

_"Why?"_

_"I like nighttime, but not after midnight, it's too quiet. There's hardly any action going on at that time really and nothing seems to be open. There's not much butt to kick, if ya know what I mean?" Raphael explained. "Punks and jerks are usually in bed before then. The only people that are up are drunks and a few thieves and other wackos and you know how Sensei feels about us being up too long." _

_"Yo' sound wike Leo." Mikey laughed. "'Bout whatchyo' said 'bout Sens-say." _

_"Yeah, I do, don't I?" Raphael pretended to shiver as they both laughed at the thought. After a few minutes of laughter, they went quiet again for a few more minutes._

_Mikey again broke the silence, "Hey, Raph." _

_"Yes, Mikey?"_

_"If somethin' were to 'appen ta one of us, wike me, whatchya do den?"_

_Raphael shook his head in disbelief; he did not see that coming. "Mikey, I would never let anything happen ta ya." _

_Mikey persisted, "Wha' wouldjya do?"_

_"Mikey," Raphael said with a sigh. "I would never let anything happen to my brothers, especially my most favorite one."_

_"Who's dat?" Mikey asked innocently._

_"You of course, ya knucklehead!"_

_Mikey turned his head and looked at his brother and asked; "I'm yo' favoritest, Raph? 'Cause yo mine!"_

_Raphael smiled and said; "Yes, you are, Mikey." Mikey smiled brightly at his brother as Raphael continued; "And I would never let anything happen to you, no matter what. Understand?"_

_"Ev'n if I tu'ned out ta be a wacko m'self?"_

_Raphael looked at his brother weirdly and then said; "Yes, even then."_

_"P'omise?"_

_"Yes, I promise."_

_Michelangelo turned his attention back to the horizon; the sun had now completely vanished and then sky slowly was turning dark. "Thanks, Raph." _

_Raphael hugged his brother and said; "Anytime, Mikey, anytime." _

_"I wove you ve'y much, Raph." Michelangelo said as he leaned over quickly kissed his brother on the cheek. Raphael quickly batted him away and yelped, "Hey! You already a wacko!" _

**End of Flashback **

Raphael tries hard not to cry as he says, "Oh, Mikey. I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry! What have I done?"

He knew within his heart that he shouldn't have left the lair and that he shouldn't have left his little brother's time of need. After all, it wasn't Mikey's fault for acting the way he did toward Raphael. And all together, Raph knows whose fault it is. The only questions are, "Can Raph deal with the consequences?" and "Is Michelangelo gone for good?" Neither of these Raphael wants to answer, but in the pit of his heart Raph feels like they've already been answered. Now all is left is to find the answer that Raphael so dreads.

Is Mikey really gone…forever?

**To Be Continued **

I know that this chapter wasn't long at all. Sorry. I'll try to male the next chapter longer. So, please read and review.


	10. Leo's Worst Nightmare

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

**Warning:** This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. Thank you all for reviewing my story, because it really means a lot to me. I hope you guys will like this chapter!

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 10_**

By Raphangela

Splinter, Leonardo, and Donatello watch as Michelangelo picks at his food gingerly; they couldn't help but stare at Mike's unusual behavior. Michelangelo is completely silent, except for the light sounds of chewing he makes as he eats his pizza. He is also eating his pizza mannerly with a fork and a knife, which is unusual for them and especially for Mikey. Recalling of what happened earlier, as soon as they had placed that pizza in front of him, Mikey had grunted and looked at it like he could have stared a whole right through it and into the floor. After several minutes of having his master and brothers asking him what's wrong, he glared at them and had gotten up from his seat and had gone into the kitchen and retrieved the knife and fork. After that, he sat down coolly like nothing had happened. Michelangelo had started to eat, not looking at any of the three as he did.

"Mikey?" Leo and Don ask in union while carefully watching their little brother's every move.

"Mike?" Leo asks again in concern. "Mikey, what's wrong?"

"Michelangelo, are you feeling well, my son?" Splinter asks his son the third time, the other times since before the turtle began to even eat. Michelangelo remains silent for the next fifteen seconds. Splinter, feeling disrespected and yet concerned by the turtle's behavior, strictly says; "Michelangelo, you will answer when I speak to you." A few more seconds pass, but Mike still doesn't answer. "Michelangelo, show some manners to your elders. I order you to speak at once!" Splinter says as he taps his walking stick down hard on the floor.

Michelangelo only grunts, still not looking up at any of them. The trio glares at him as they begin to get very aggravated with him.

"Mike!" Leo, having enough of this, yells first.

"Mikey!" Donatello is second.

And then finally Splinter says; "Michelangelo, whatever is the matter with you?"

Michelangelo stops picking at his food and pushes his plate away. He slowly looks up at them and glares as he crosses his arms. He then gives them a fear-provoking look that simply means "If you mess with me, I'll slaughter you". They look at him in absolute shock; they never had expected him to look at them in that way EVER. Mikey is acting totally out of character for them. He is acting more Raph-like than usual, considering Mikey always had looked up to him like a role model. Raphael was and still is the angriest one of the four, he can be nice, but he still has his moments. However, not even Raphael would glare at them like that, especially at Splinter or even around him. It is like someone has switched the personality of Michelangelo with someone worse than their own hardheaded and angry brother, Raphael. Could Mikey secretly be worse than Raphael, or is there something definitely wrong with him?

"Mikey?" Leo and Don ask with concern in their voice.

"Michelangelo?" Splinter asks as worry starts to overcome his inner stress and exasperation. He and his two sons watch as Mikey quietly gets up from where he is seated and coldly walks away from them and goes into Raph's and his shared room.

Splinter sighs and sadly says, "Oh, Michelangelo." He then gets up and looks at the other two and smiles sadly at them. He says to them, "Watch over your brother, you two. Make sure nothing bad happens to him. I'm going to go meditate some more." They watch as Splinter leaves them, his steps seem to stagger as he walks into his room.

"What did Master Splinter mean by that?" Don asks his older brother, his eye bridge lifted in curiosity.

"I don't know, Don," Leo answers sincerely and then changes the subject. "But did you see the way Sensei walked?"

"It's no surprise, Leo." Donny says. "Master Splinter isn't getting any younger these days, if ya know what I mean."

Leo sighs and then says, "I know, it just pains me to see him like that…" He pauses for a moment, then he hangs his head and continues saying, "And to see Mikey like…"

"Like what?" Don inquires.

"I…I don't know," Leo answers and then looks up at his brother, his face all scrunched up in a weird way. "Something doesn't seem right about him…I feel like it's not Mikey, not Mikey at all…but at the same time it does…like something has happened to him…his old self that we use to know is gone."

"I know how ya feel, Leo." Don says and puts a hand on Leo's shoulder. "Mikey is worrying me, too, but I think He's just moody, is all."

Leo answers flatly, "It feels like a personality change to me."

"You're worrying too much, Leo." Don informs him. "It is the first day Mikey has woken up after all of those days. Whatever had happened to him might've affected his sudden mood towards us. Give him time, I'm sure we'll have the ol' Mikey back sooner than we think. We'll get him back so fast that you wish he didn't! Don't worry, Mikey will get over whatever is wrong with him, I know he will. He always has! Nothing gets that guy down!"

"That's why I'm worried, Don." Leo says sadly. "Mikey is down…and acting like he never has before. Something is wrong, Don. Something happened to him, something happened to our Mikey…but I don't know what." Leo instantly jerks away from Don and walks over to a punching bag, he punches it hard. "DAMN!! I wish I knew! Why won't he tell me what's wrong!?" He grabs the punching bag and then leans on it for support.

"Leo," Don starts as he walks towards his older brother and leader. "Look at you. You're hurting yourself. You need to rest, you haven't been sleeping much at all lately ever since the defeat of The Shredder. You're pale… you have gray bags underneath your eyes… Simply said, you look absolutely terrible. You need sleep, Leo, BAD."

Leo sighs and says, "I know…I know…but I don't think I can ever go back to sleep."

Donatello looks at him strangely, he asks, "Why not?"

Leo covers his face with his hand and says, "I've been having terrible nightmares lately…about The Foot and…" He shuts his eyes and grimaces; he can't find himself to continue.

Don frowns and says, "Leo, we defeated the foot long ago. We defeated The Shredder! The Foot's no more!"

"It isn't about the Shredder, Don." Leo replies seriously.

"Then who is it, Leo?" Don asks, his breathing gone rugged as he listens.

"I don't know, Don…" Leo tells him. "I'm not sure on whom to say it is, but the presence of the person feels familiar in a way."

"You don't? Are you sure?" Don asks.

"Don't know that either, but I have to admit, though, Don," Leo says with a nervous laugh. Leo shakes his head and then looks up at his brother to say, "That this is the worst nightmare I've ever had in my entire life…and it keeps on repeating itself."

"Leo?"

Leo explains his dream, "In the dream, its dark…so very dark, it's nighttime. The dream is so violent, so fast…so strange, yet more frightening. I see a pair of glowing eyes looking hatefully at me, you, and Raph…for some reason, Mikey wasn't in the dream, but his presence was fully there. The being is like a shadow…so dark, but those glowing eyes seem to be so haunting…so evil...and when the evil figure grinned…it seemed like the forces of hell had been unleashed with that psychotic smile of his. There, with him, was the Foot Clan, surrounding us and ready to attack us at full force…for some reason, they seemed much stronger than ever before… We were so scared, Don, so terrified by them, especially the dark figure that leads them… The figure, seemed to be familiar somehow… he looked like to be one of us…but evil…and I was worried to death for him and about him….maybe because I was so terrified of what he could do to us…I don't know. We were all cut up and bruised...and exhausted. Raph looked to be the most pathetic one of us all…He looked like he had been crying and still was. The dark figure then commanded the Foot to attack us…we stood no chance…they began slashing at us and trying to rip us apart. Throughout the attack, I kept on hearing evil, demonic laughter…and Raph's constant screams…screaming for or about Mikey." Leo sighs deeply. "And then that's when I wake up."

Don is lost for words for a moment and then says with concern in his voice, "Leo…it was a dream."

"No, it wasn't just a dream, Don!" Leo shouts out at his brother. "It means something! It has to! Something is going to happen, but I wish I knew what, though." He punches the punching bag again and then kicks it hard, making it swing back. "Why can't I make it out, Don!?" He yells and then he catches the bag before it can swing back at him. "Why is it SO hard!?"

"I don't know, Leo." Don says. "I'm not good at telling what dreams mean, at least not what other people's dreams mean." He watches Leo look at him sadly and slouch over in exhaustion. "You need rest, Leo, and you need it bad."

"I don't think I ever want to go to sleep." Leo answers.

"I didn't say 'sleep', Leo. I said 'rest'" Don corrected. "If you don't want to sleep, then just lay down a bit at least. You really need it, Leo."

"Alright," Leo agrees as he smiles weakly at his younger brother. "I will, then. I'll go lay down for awhile." He walks over toward his brother, which is the same direction his room is located.

Don smiles and then says, "Good, you need it, Leo."

Leo stops in his tracks once he reaches Don, he puts his hand on his brother's shoulder and says appreciatingly, "Thanks, Don, for listening to me."

Don smiles at his brother and nods. Leo takes his hand off and then walks into his room to lie down. Once Leo is out of sight, Don frowns deeply and sighs sadly to himself. "I know how you feel, Leo. I know. I have almost the same nightmares as well."

**To Be Continued **

Does Leo's dream mean something? If so, what then? What about Don? To find out, stay tuned to feature chapters. I might change the title of the story and make it like a book. So, please read and review.


	11. ‘I will destroy them all!’

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to. I also don't own the song "High Wire Escape Artist", song by Boy Sets Fire.

**Warning:** This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. Thank you all for reviewing my story, because it really means a lot to me. I hope you guys will like this chapter! THE CHAPTERS ARE GETTING DARKER!!

Sorry for the wait. ;; School work and homework sucks! If you don't like angst and darkness… well, to each his own. HAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! I'm trying to get this story up and going by Halloween. I hope I get to the good stuff by then. Sorry for this short chapter. I'll try to make the chapters longer than this. Ummmm… what else? I dunno. LOL I just had to type this here, didn't I? P

**_SILENCE_**

**_Chapter 11_**

By Raphangela

**_Bleed out all empathy _**

**_This vessel has no spirit left to hold on_**

**_To lies I've lived in full_**

Michelangelo lies mutely on his bed, on his side with his right hand tucked underneath his pillow. He listens to the commotion that's going on outside of the room. He hears everything that's going on, even the ramblings of his now former master. He wishes that he had shut the bedroom door, but he dared not get up nor to look outside pass the room's door. He stayed on his bed, laying there quietly with a troubled grin on his face. His pupils dart quickly toward every sound that echoes through the dim lit room.

**_How long can I hold tight with every movement_**

**_Tension binds and denies my true nature_**

He hears his brother, Donatello, click endlessly on his processor. Don's probably working on another research project of his or is planning on building something, to Michelangelo it no longer matters. Don is always good at that, much better than anyone, especially Mikey as a matter of fact. Even though Mikey never had showed it, it always hurts him to see how everyone admires Don for his mechanical and scientific skills. It hurts him to see how much praise Don gets with his scientific discoveries, while Mikey himself only got smacked in the head for being the way he was. To them, all of them, he is nothing but a fool, a setback, and an idiot that is incapable of learning. To them, he is completely immature and is a liability, something that Don isn't. In their eyes, he will never match up to his brother's genius. He is nothing but the lab monkey that doesn't get any of the credit, while the scientist gets all it.

**_The balance has shifted warped sick and twisted _**

**_Grabbing at angels when I fall _**

**_Because I am more than this idol endless recital_**

**_For all my demons to applaud_**

**_I am free_**

Mikey's eyes shift over to another sound, which was coming from his ever so perfect brother, Leonardo. Leonardo is training again, just like he always does when he's not worrying like the worrywart that he is. Leonardo, always has perfected every skill, every move, everything. He is the apple of Splinter's eye, the cream-of-the-crop, and always better at everything. His family and friends always admire him the most, mainly for his leadership abilities that were pointed exactly to and were given to him. It isn't safe to accuse Splinter or anyone for this; freaks like his family would have your neck for that. Everyone always protected or felt sorry for Leo, never ever paying attention to one of the sidelines that were in need, more than likely it's is Mikey. Leonardo always got the emotional support that he could never possibly fathom. He always got everything he wanted and has everything that one can only dream of. He has family back-up, he has friends, skills, popularity, admiration, he's loved, and most importantly he's the appointed leader. Even though he has all this and even more, he's always striving to be better than the rest even though he is the selected best-of-the-best. He has always bossed his brothers and him around, yet no one besides Raph ever seemed show that they mind it. Leo always made Mikey feel like he's wrong, that all Mikey does is wrong and that Leo's way is the right way. He always made Mikey feel like he's not good enough, that Mikey isn't serious enough like he should be. Leo will always be the perfect son, the perfect brother, and the perfect friend that everyone loves and cares SO much about. Mikey will never feel or get amount of anything that Leo has. Just thinking about it makes Mikey so upset that it makes him want to cry.

**_Hide myself from it all while every fear is_**

**_Screaming night into dawn until I find_**

Fighting the urge of letting his tears spill out, Mikey shifts eyes toward another sound that has caught his attention. He hears their "prison master" ramble on about how Mikey acted earlier to them. Mikey glares and growls in his throat when hearing the old vermin's voice box, hearing how the rat so disapproved of his behavior. 'Old and cantankerous scumbag,' Mikey thinks grimly, a dark frown upon his face. 'I wish he'd just shut the hell up with his idiotic bickering. He makes me SO SICK!' Mikey growls and then punches his pillow violently. Mikey's heart begins to ache with utter hate when recalling all of the times the rat disapproved of him and his actions. The bastard of a rat always got onto him more than the others. He is always doing wrong in the rat's eyes. All Splinter got onto Raph for was his temper, but Mikey always gets so much more than that. Mikey curses himself for ever allowing himself to think that he loved the old pest to begin with. Sure the rat took them in, but Mikey always seems to feel like he's not wanted or isn't good enough to be in such a family of better and more focusing students. All Mikey ever wanted to do was have fun and even help people, but that is not enough for the rat, though. The rat always told him what to do and how to do it, making Mikey feel even worse about he himself. Splinter always told him to never forget that he is ninja, but he also told him that Mikey must choose a path for himself. Mikey must choose a direction, even though Splinter and his brother forcefully try to choose it for him.

**_The balance has shifted warped sick and twisted _**

**_Grabbing at angels when I fall _**

**_Because I am more than this idol endless recital_**

**_For all my demons to applaud_**

**_I am free_**

As Mikey thinks of it, his hate grows stronger and stronger. He feels a great unrest and something is tugging at his darkening heart. He feels strange and overwhelming desires that he has never felt before, desires that feel dark, desolate, and entirely sinful. Mikey begins to shiver furiously as he tosses and turns in utter turmoil on his bed. He hates his life; he repeats and admits in his thoughts. He hates his friends, his brothers, and even his horrible Sensei. He hates them so much it makes him want to puke and gag, even worse, it makes him want to make them just fall over and die miserably. Overwhelming desires of wanting to hurt them fill his sickening and darkening heart. An undying sensation fills his body; his body tingles as he smirks evilly to himself.

**_I have to believe them (lies)_**

**_In order to attain fulfillment_**

**_I have to succumb to (lies)_**

**_All my inner fears that tear at me_**

**_I will never believe them (lies)_**

**_I'm sick of the weakness that controls me-_**

**_Now that I've fallen-_**

He has new desires now, desires to slaughter all who stand against him and to kill his enemies. He no longer feels the desire to help those who in term will never help or give appreciation for. Why help everyone else when there's nothing for him to gain from? Everyone always made fun of him, used him, and mistreated him and took him for granted. It hurts so badly to be treated like this. They act as if he deserves every ounce of agony he gets and that they hate him for who he was. Mikey will never be good enough for his adopted family and no one has ever known Mikey to begin with. He has never had any true friends, people either turned out to be using him or betraying him. He hates it; he hates it all SO much and he's sick and tired of it! 'If only I can just crush them, maybe they'd know the torment and pain I go through just to get them to smile.' He coldly thinks to himself. 'It's not like they ever found me funny for my jokes, anyway. They only laugh at me when I suffer.

**_I WILL NOT REPENT!!_**

'From now on, I'll turn the tables on them. Instead of them laughing at me, I'll laugh at them as I make them suffer terribly! They'll pay for what they do to me! They'll all pay! Mark my word they'll pay dearly, especially my brothers and that disgusting rat! I'll make them all know not to mess with me! I'll make them suffer and become their worst nightmare! For now on, I'll fight for no one, only for myself and for whatever desires I have. They're not my family, not anymore. I don't have a family, nor do I need one! I am not the weakling that they claimed me to be and I'll prove that to them! I'll watch and laugh evilly as they see me bathe and drink in their blood! I'll destroy them all, starting with…the rat!'

**_The balance has shifted warped sick and twisted _**

**_Grabbing at angels when I fall _**

**_Because I am more than this idol endless recital_**

**_For all my demons to applaud_**

**_I am free_**

He snickers callously to himself as he thinks, 'I will destroy them all!'

**To Be Continued **

Made it this far? I'm surprised. LOL! Anyway, we can all see where this is going. I hope you all do. LOL If you don't, then you'll just have to wait and see for yourself.


End file.
